How to find a Chinese girlfriend

Asian ladies have always been popular with Western men. Thanks to the Internet it's never been easy to find a beautiful Chinese girlfriend.

Here are some ways to find a Chinese girlfriend, plus some problems you might face with your new Chinese girlfriend along the way.

The easiest way to find a Chinese girlfriend is to use one of the dedicated Asian personals websites that allow Western men to find Chinese girlfriends. There are quite a few - the most popular include:

• Chnlove
• Chinese Love Links
• Cherry Blossoms
• Asian Kisses

Chnlove is the biggest and has the loveliest ladies. It's worth signing up to (free of charge) as they have the best selection of Chinese ladies looking for Western husbands. However Chnlove is very expensive. The Chinese marriage agencies representing the ladies also have a poor reputation, and many men I know have wasted a lot of time and money on unsuitable ladies, dishonest ladies and even ladies who don't really exist!

Chinese Love Links is my favorite Chinese dating site. There is a fixed monthly or annual fee. It is also well managed. As well as finding a Chinese girlfriend you might also be able to find language learning partners or more casual relationships.

Cherry Blossoms is also reasonably priced, although you have to keep an eye open for scam ladies (always a problem on sites where ladies can sign up for free).

Asian Kisses is an apparently free site so it might be worth checking out.

Other ways of finding a Chinese girlfriend are seeing if you can find a Chinese girlfriend in your own town or state. There are many Chinese girls living and working overseas, and this route avoids the complication of trying to find an honest Chinese girlfriend via an online dating site. Of course the other advantage is that a Chinese girl living in your own country is much more likely to have better language skills. She'll also have much more of an awareness of your own culture, which can avoid problematic cultural differences later on.

Finally you could also try an introduction agency or an escorted tour of China. I know of no honest introduction agencies in China, so I can't recommend any like I can for Thailand or Japan. Escorted tours can be a fun way of finding a Chinese girlfriend. They are quite expensive though and you don't always know if the girls on the tour are really serious about having a Western husband.

Finding a good Chinese girlfriend certainly isn't easy! Here are two of the most common problems you might encounter - the issue of trust and the Dragon lady issue!

Trust is a big problem in all relationships, so online relationships are no different as far as trust is concerned.

Unfortunately online dating sites have a poor reputation for scam ladies. There aren't any more Chinese scammers compared to ladies from other countries, it's just that using an online dating site to contact a Chinese lady has its own particular problems.

The main problem with trust as far as dating a Chinese lady goes is that Chinese marriage agencies have a very poor reputation. If you are contacting a lady via an agency then you really shouldn't trust them to any great degree. I am sorry to have to write that but that's what I've found.

It's far better to make direct contact with your lady and cut out the agency as far as possible. The downside to this of course is that you're more likely to be scammed by your lady if an agency isn't in the loop.

Wow, dating a mainland Chinese lady is tricky. But please be under no illusions that this is an easy thing to do.

So as to the subject of trust - trust can be built up, but it does take time.

One of the biggest misconceptions Western people have about Chinese girls is that they are submissive and docile. If this is your belief about Chinese girls then you are going to be in for a shock!

And let me tell you that if you think Chinese girls are sweet and submissive then you've obviously not seen two Chinese girls arguing! Yikes.

So I'm not sure how this sweet and submissive view of Chinese girls arose, but it might be because Japanese girls are fairly submissive in a relationship, so people thought other Asian girls were the same. Nothing can be further from the truth. In general Chinese girls will tend to take a pretty dominant role in a relationship. How dominant really depends on her upbringing, and which part of China she is from. The girls from Northern China tend to be more dominant. Whether it's because they are taller I don't know. Girls from Shanghai are especially dominant, and the Shanghai lady will tend to make a lot of the important decisions in the household. When I met my Chinese girlfriend's parents, it was her mother who made the important decisions as to my suitability as a husband for her daughter.

Also be aware that while the Chinese girl you're dating might be all sweet and innocent, it might not last! It's essential to really get to know your Chinese girlfriend well, especially if you've met her over the Internet. Consider getting her over to your country on a fiancee visa, or arrange to spend several months with her in her own country. Otherwise you might be in for an unpleasant surprise!

Of course not all guys mind a feisty lady. A strong Chinese lady will defend you (as long as you've not done anything wrong of course!). A feisty lady is also good in other ways ;-).

So finding a Chinese girlfriend is possible, and I know of many happy marriages between Western men and Chinese ladies. There are huge language and cultural differences to overcome, but the end result is definately worthwhile! Good luck finding your own beautiful Chinese girlfriend.